Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
