p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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