Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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