drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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