Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
