I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
