I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
