I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
