butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize