Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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