my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
