Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
