apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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