i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize