I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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