And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
