If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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