I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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