I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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