I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
