I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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