i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
