what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
