that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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