my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
