Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
