Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
