Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
