Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How's work?
Spinning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
