let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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