She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
