This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
