we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
