Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
