I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
