we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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