Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
