I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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