She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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