Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
