pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
