So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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