12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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