This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
