So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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