We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize