ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
