Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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