My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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