these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize