when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
