Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
