he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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