She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
