Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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