Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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