Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
