Dual....:-)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
